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September 30th, 2009 
admin My dear reader friend Mango had suggested the following…
“Hey admin, here is another topic – How trendy can be a man without crossing on the “other side”? For example in the last issue of GQ, the Burberrry ad shows guys wearing lipstick…. I personally find that many man will oppose style and beauty procedures because they feel this will send a wrong message about their orientation.”
Before I dive into this topic, I can’t stress to push for attitude when it comes to style and wear. If you wanted to wear slimming pants with boots and a super tight pima cotton t-shirt, your confidence and attitude is half the story of interpretation.
You walk around strutting the sidewalk like it’s a catwalk, you will be mistaken for your sexual orientation. My favorite movie, Bruno is a completely perfect example of wanting to be perceived as gay and is very confident in his sexual orientation. Presentation is key and a major part of the message.
If George Clooney, David Beckham or Brad Pitt were wearing red lipstick for an ad, would you assume that they were conveying a gay message? Not necessarily. It’s an art for advertisement editorials.
I wouldn’t necessarily follow advertisements or editorials for fashion advice because it’s just a look. Not something that is to influence men to particularly follow, maybe just influence.
Here’s another spin to the topic of being trendy without crossing the ‘other side.’ When I asked my stylist friend in NY, he replied with the following “ style shouldn’t be defined by sexual orientation. Style is the colors you like, the fit you like etc.”
He continues to state that in extremity its understandable; there are two descriptions of just gay; the humorous and the influential. Bruno would be an example of humorous and Bryanboy can be an influential example.
But going back to being straight without crossing the line of sexual orientation, let me tell you that men don’t have limits with being trendy. Just be confidence in your style and in your own skin. If Leonardo DiCaprio and Lance Bass came to an award show in the same Giorgio Armani suit, would you mistaken DiCaprio’s orientation? No.
Actually that’s not a good example. Let’s take David Beckham wearing the murse which is a man+purse; would you assume that it is questioning his sexual orientation?
Despite the fact that he is David Beckham, please note that he is confident in his murse and his little ponytail. The way he is captured in this image doesn’t necessarily show any form of confusion in orientation. (click the image for more images of DB in murses).
I hope some ideas are new to spark a different view on dressing trendy without crossing the line. Remember to not necessarily put a sexual orientation to style (except for the ones that want to convey that message), and you can wear anything trendy and be a man without being mistaken. It’s how you walk and express yourself through attitude.
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I’ve said this many times before on this site. I think men’s fashion need to expand both cut and colour. But that’s just my personal opinion and like I argued in the other thread, we dress as much for other people as we do for ourselves. So what I decide to wear does matter in how people perceive me, whether this is social status, sexual orientation, or whatever.
Can an outfit make you appear homosexual? Can choosing a particular colour, or a particular cut present a homosexual image to others? My answer: yes.
Whether you agree or disagree, clothing is an important element in establishing gender roles and–indirectly–sexual orientation. Men wear trousers, women where dresses. Men wear subdued colours, women wear bright colours. Men wear solids, women wear prints. Etc… Obviously, if a man wears a traditionally feminine garment, questions will arise… But cross-dressing is an extreme case and shouldn’t be considered in our debate. I would add costumes meant to incite a reaction to this list as well. (Aka, Bruno)
So beyond cross dressing and outrageous costumes, how else can men subtly defy traditional gender roles by what they wear? I think one has to consider why men wear clothes. Outside of nobility, I think most would agree that male fashion has typically been driven by their profession; the hunter, blacksmith, fisherman, farmer, slave, etc. Practical clothing. This can probably explain trousers, the dark colours, the heavy-weight fabrics, etc. Some guys pick out clothes that make them appear strong and tough. I argue that this is an antiquated way of thinking. We’re not poor farmers anymore. We live in a curious time where a large portion of the world population lives in the middle class and can decide what to where beyond the practical considerations of staying safe and warm. Turning our attention away from the working class, we can see that male fashion among nobility across many cultures is full of bright colours and patterns. In the past, the presence of bright colours and ornate patterns indicated wealth. The peasants wore drab brown clothing, while the king wore red to show power and white to show cleanliness. The king wore gold rings and necklaces. At one point, men even wore make-up and wigs!
Returning to modern times, I often find that whenever a man dresses nicely, he gets called gay. Apparently only gay men can dress nice. That’s stupid. You don’t have to be a gay fashionista spending all your time worrying about the latest fashion to enjoy fine clothing. When I see a suit, I think power and wealth. We hear all the time that one should dress, at work, for the job we want and not the job we have. Dress for success, right? Men shouldn’t feel sorry for being able to afford fine clothing. Remember Scarface. Remember the Godfather. Remember rap videos. How do they dress? Fine clothing and jewelry. No one calls them gay. Take pride in not being forced to work dangerous blue collar jobs to make a living.
Let’s not forget the other reason why [straight] men choose to wear what they wear: girls. Dress to impress. Fine clothing shows that you’ll make a good provider. Concerned about being perceived as gay or too afeminate? Choose other ways to show your masculinity such as acts of chivalry. And if a girl still insists you’re gay because of what you wear, well… You probably don’t want to date such a close-minded bigot anyway.
So while I agree that certain clothing on men make them appear gay–namely cross dressing–I disagree that dressing nicely should result in this sort of condemnation. There’s much more to tipping off the “gaydar”–like body language for example–than how you dress.
PS: Mango, wear the damn ascot!
Hey admin, can you delete the post above this one? I accidentally pasted my post with word wrap turning off, so the formatting is all off. Thanks.